Friday: Valentine's Day
I woke up around 11:00 am Friday morning and took a long hot shower. As Art groggily geared up for a scrub, I dashed out to buy some gifts from the nifty Luxor shops. It was clear upon reaching the lobby that Valentine's Day was a big ordeal in Vegas -- I saw no less than a dozen brides buzzing around the main entrance. Huge lines of people had formed around the check-in desk. Not only did I immediately appreciate the fact we intentionally arrived at The Luxor on a slow day, but I also really liked how we were married on a slow day. As in, we were the only people we saw trolling around in full wedding glory that Monday night. Everywhere we went we were complimented and congratulated. We had Star Trek to ourselves essentially. We didn't have to share our wedding bliss with anyone else. But on Valentine's day, brides and grooms were everywhere you turned. Vegas was hopping with people on the whole -- it was the most crowded day we saw while in town ... by a huge margin.

After an hour-long round of precision shopping I returned to our hotel room and joined up with Art. We didn't have any solid plans set until the evening; at which time we needed to be at the New York New York Hotel to catch a pre-reserved dinner and show. We decided to head back to Mandalay Bay for the afternoon to explore its Shark Reef aquarium.

On the way to the shark reef, we found ourselves lured into a hip Mexican restaurant. I don't usually like Mexican food, but everything we ate was simply delicious -- unlike any Mexican food I've tasted before (even the food I ate while in Mexico). We sat outside on a patio that overlooked the tropical gardens below. It was supremely romantic and we ended up spending more time there than we planned.

We arrived at the Shark Reef around 4:30. There were a good number of jittery children waiting in line, which we briefly feared would lead to an unpleasant Excalibur repeat. Fortunately, we lost the small-fry crowd once inside the aquarium. The shark reef was impressive: easily comparable to aquariums in Camden, New Jersey and Mystic, Connecticut. It housed white crocs, stingrays, turtles, and sharks of every shape and size. One room was literally built inside a giant tank, so you could see sharks above you and below you. We ended up admiring Mandalay Bay's watery beasties for about an hour.

Our timetable started to get tight, so after a brief return to our Luxor room, we traveled over to New York New York.

The wife of Art's boss had warned him New York New York was a hotel that had "no heart." It's an understandable reaction from anyone who lives on the east coast. The hotel is designed to look like the New York City skyline, replete with a Statue of Liberty and an Empire State Building. When you live a few hours away from New York, the facade seems pretty silly.

But the hotel was actually quite nice inside. And unlike the real New York city, Vegas' downtown Manhattan didn't smell like urine and garbage (come to think of it, Excalibur fit that description). The NYNY hotel was very active and somewhat crowded, though not unpleasantly so. We had a 6:00 dinner reservation at an Italian restaurant named Il Fornaio, which preceded tickets for an 8:00 improv comedy show called "Boo!" The restaurant was more mid-range than I foresaw, however the long line of people waiting for tables made me happy we had reservations.

It wound up being one of the cheapest meals we had while in town. Honestly though, we anticipated a better dinner. Don't get us wrong: the food was wonderful. But we were sort of crammed into an overcrowded seating area that was way too close for comfort. And then our waiter took entirely too long to get us our check. Everyone who worked at the restaurant seemed kind of cold and gruff ... yes, we realize that's similar to REAL New York City hospitality. Still, we expected a better dining experience. We both agreed we should have stayed at the Mexican place in Mandalay Bay.

We had a bit of time to kill before Boo! started, so we toured the gift stores and had a drink or two in the process. The shops came off as especially lame to our east coast eyes -- they were all set up to be typical cheesy NY souvenir shops. If you have access to that in real life, there's no splendor in imitation. Still, the bars and restaurants were hopping with twenty and thirty somethings and the mood was energetic. We both complimented the sleek art-deco subway-styled bathrooms (which served as another reminder of how cruddy Excalibur was).

Art and I took our (very good) seats for Boo! a few minutes before the show started. "Tubular Bells" from the film The Exorcist played inside the theatre, and that seemed like sign of good things to come. Boo! was billed as a "scary, funny late-night improv show," with an emphasis on horror-genre comedy. I had some mild doubts about the show quality; granted I knew nothing we'd see would beat our Blue Man Group viewing, but I'd read a lukewarm review of Boo! that deemed it a study in toilet humor. We were joyously impressed and wholly entertained by Boo! once the show began. The majority of the show was based on audience suggestions/participation (think Whose Line Is It Anyway?). I can see how such a show could suck if the audience wasn't sharp, but we were part of a good group that night and the comedians were in top form. The humor was dark, yet still digestible even for a typical comedy audience. The highlight of the show was an impromptu song (devised by the audience) entitled "The Head Rolled Across The Floor And The Monkey Ate It." The show was completely worth catching and we left with smiles on our faces.

Boo! was over by 9:40 PM. A fellow I know via the internet had suggested we check out a show called SHOCK while in Vegas. Shock was advertised as a freakshow in the spirit of The Jim Rose Circus. Shock boasted all sorts of grim and grimy fun, such as glass chewing, on-the-spot body piercing, hypnotism, and rodent eating. I loved the idea. I didn't initially think we'd be able to make it to Shock because of our Boo! plans. Shock is a pretty new show from my understanding and it runs at a tiny old casino named Bourbon Street on Friday and Saturday nights at 10:30. Though I found very little information on the Bourbon Street casino in advance, we decided to risk a potentially seedy time and we headed in that direction.

Art and I were driven to Bourbon Street by the weirdest cabbie we met in Vegas. At first the cabbie tried talking us out of going to the Bourbon Street Casino, claiming it was a dive. He suggested we hit The Bellagio instead. After we explained we wanted to see a freakshow, he regaled us with unsolicited stories from his former LSD-dealing days. It was a long ride, too -- the strip was jammed with traffic.

Upon entering the casino, we quietly agreed with the cabbie -- Bourbon Street was a dive. Not in a dangerous way (and certainly not as lame as Excalibur); it was clearly a throwback to an older, tackier, less polished Las Vegas. But hey: it was uncrowded, friendly, and the bar featured a one-man lounge act who was out of this world, so we're not complaining! In fact, I thought the place was cute -- and it offered a refreshing escape from the Valentine's Day mob scene.

We bought our tickets for Shock, which we learned was going to be delayed by twenty-minutes due to "technical difficulties." I whittled time away on a nickel slot machine and ended up winning $16 in nickels before we were escorted into the Shock showroom.

The audience seemed mostly comprised of locals who knew what to expect from the show. Two members of the Shock "cast" secretly planted themselves among the audience and slowly engaged in a mock Jerry Springer-tinged fight that climaxed with a chainsaw attack. Art said he knew it was a set up, but I'll admit I didn't see it coming. Maybe my instincts were dulled by the slow yet steady stream of drinks I'd been sipping since mid-afternoon.

At any rate, after the audience jape a Carney-like host stepped up the pace by introducing various sideshow acts. The main attraction was Zamora The Torture King, a Jim Rose Circus alumnus known for his "ability to withstand pain." Throughout the show, Zamora pierced himself, ate a glass lightbulb, sliced open his stomach with a scalpel, and laid on a bed of broken glass among other uncomfortable activities. I'd seen him before on Ripley's Believe It Or Not, but it was far more fun watching him perform his acts live.

There was a singing/dancing new wave bondage gal; a "Mr. Wizard" inspired woman who claimed to accept high voltage electricity through her body; a hypnotist enticed an audience member to stick his head into a tank filled with live rats; an Elvis impersonator (the only one we saw in Vegas) tested the strength of his manliness with a bowling ball from behind a concealing curtain; fire-breathing and fat ladies rounded out the bill. Was it all 100% authentic? Eh, who cares? Shock was a shining example of a good old-fashioned sideshow and we had a great time.

In fact, both Boo! and Shock! were perfectly suited to our tastes. The reasonably priced shows contributed to a stellar night of Vegas entertainment; a packed night that more than made up for our wasted Excalibur day.

Shock ended around midnight. The Bourbon Street Casino might have been a tiny dive but its location was superb. The Bellagio stood just across the road, as did Paris and Caesar's Palace. We had not walked the strip during our stay, and since Vegas was brimming with life, we figured we'd engage in some hotel hopping.

Both of us heard rave reviews about The Bellagio. It's considered to be the swankest spot in town. Its reputation certainly precedes it, because The Bellagio was chock-full of tourists milling around to see "how the other half lives."

And The Bellagio was quite nice, though in such a self-aware manner that it almost seemed tacky. We checked out the famed Chihuly glass sculptures and the glittery disco-ball horse in the lobby. The botanical garden was opulent and recently redressed to reflect the Chinese New Year. Valentine's Day Brides from every hotel battled to have their photos taken on the Bellagio stairwell.

Art and I both complimented the tres chic Bellagio bathrooms.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that the hotel was filled with five hundred or more sightseers. The line for taxis stretched around the entire watery perimeter of the hotel. We didn't feel like waiting, so we decided to walk the rest of the strip. We weren't sure how far the Luxor was from our location, but hey ... anything seemed better than standing around like lazy idiots.

And thus, we walked "home" from The Bellagio hand-in-hand, ooh-ing and ah-ing the splendid hotel structures as we strolled. It was a beautiful, warm, clear night and the streets were alive with people. It was a romantic and eye-popping stroll, yet we felt somewhat sad. Neither of us wanted to leave Vegas ... there was still too much left for us to see. We felt like we barely scratched the surface.

We arrived back at The Luxor by 2:00 AM. An interesting observation about The Luxor: it's the second largest hotel in the world after The MGM Grand. And because it's so huge, it never feels especially crowded. The Bellagio and New York New York seemed packed, but The Luxor felt spacious even when it was brimming with the same number of bodies.

Art and I took a few last turns at the Luxor slot machines, and Art picked up another $60, bringing our total profit to $134 combined! We cashed in our chips and nickels and headed to The Pyramid Cafe for one last taste of Luxor food. We discussed how out of all the hotels we visited, we liked Luxor the best. And we swore that we would return to The Luxor for our first anniversary.

With heavy hearts, we called it a night around 4:00 AM. But oh what a night -- we crammed a week's worth of sight-seeing into a handful of hours. It was the perfect way to cap off a fairly perfect Vegas honeymoon.

Our return flight to Philly left Vegas at 2:00 PM Saturday afternoon. We arrived home a few hours before "The storm of the century" dumped over three feet of snow atop Pennsylvania. It was an abrupt way to re-enter reality, but it made us all the more adamant to see Vegas again as soon as we could.

It truly was our idea of a perfect time, Excalibur notwithstanding. The food, the shows, the decor, and the spirit of Vegas was everything we'd dreamed it would be. In the span of six days we visited Dracula's Castle, the 24th century, ancient Egypt, a medieval torture dungeon, and an Asian tropical paradise! AND we got married! Where else in the world can you do all of that in six days?

Viva Las Vegas!

(But wait ... there's more! Art and Patty had a splendid mini-vacation in Washington, DC to stretch out their honeymoon celebration. Pictures and stories coming soon.)